I understand, do you?...

Putting myself into your situation, I can understand what you felt and why. You said you felt trapped; you wanted time to grow as an individual. Sometimes, growing and learning together as a couple isn't enough. You need space. And I can understand and respect that. You wanted to make sure that the way you were living life was really the way you wanted to live it. You needed to be alone to truly realize what you wanted and what you had, so that you can value and appreciate and the things that are truly important in your life will become evident. You wanted to find happiness on your own and not be relying on each other completely, and that's healthy. And we did this when we were together as well; we found happiness and enjoyment out of video games and other hobbies. I would always be writing at some point of the day, whether on my laptop or in a notebook and just pretty much anywhere I could write. Writing makes me happy; I feel empowered when I write, I'm so passionate about being able to create stories with my words and putting my thoughts and ideas on paper. But I understand that primarily, you just needed space and time alone. I think we both did, as much as I hate being apart from you. You went to extremes though and you made this split final; you wanted no hopes of reuniting, which is pretty crazy considering all we had been through together and the bond and chemistry and love we had because you can't just disregard any of that. And I tried to fight for this, I really did and I was following through with what I said because I told you I would fight for us. And I can actually value so I would never consider leaving you like that and giving up on you. Anger and hurt built up towards resentment and you said some really vile shit. You are not in any kind of rational understanding state of mind when you're angry and being hurtful so don't make any decisions at all. Wait until you calm down and are able to fully analyze the situation and make a rational decision. This is the best advice you can remind yourself of when you're angry. I hope you come to find all of the things that make you happy and you may even realize that some of the things that made you the happiest were things that you threw away. they say you don't really know what you have until it's gone so to truly appreciate something you have to lose it. And if it comes back, it was always your's. If it doesn't, it never was. But I guess nothing really ever is your's for the keeping because sooner or later, death comes knocking at your door and takes it away forever... It's only your's for as long as you can make it... So if you truly love something, hold on to it while you can. My dad told me a story about his Star Wars action figures he had as a kid; he was your typical bored teenager on a summer afternoon and what started off as a brilliant idea ended up being a terrible mistake. Him and his friend Ryan had some leftover 4th of July firecrackers and they had planned to tie my dad's once beloved Star Wars figures to them and watch them blow up into pieces, down by a little creek that ran by his house. My dad said he thought he had pretty much outgrown them and they were just packed away in a little box in his room anyway. Well it wasn't after he saw the remains of his action figures, bits and pieces of melted plastic here and there, that he quickly began to regret what he did. These were action figures he had played with for years and saved up money to buy, they were a part of his childhood; they were special.. And now they were all blown up and dismembered, out of recognition. Just a little life lesson to not be quick to get rid of something you may later regret giving up. Because sometimes it's a little to late to get it back.