This Love.. Your Love.. Our Love..

I don't know how to feel when I'm around you anymore because you're so many different things.. You are happiness and pleasure. You're pain and disappointment... But I guess you are these things because I care. Because if I didn't care, I wouldn't be affected... So whether the feelings are good or bad, I guess it's a good thing.. The opposite of love is indifference.. Although sometimes I wish I didn't care... I wish I didn't feel anything when I'm around you... But your love doesn't have a numbing effect, it burns me with passion and leaves me breathless. I could be sweetly whispering into your ear or yelling vulgarities at the top of my lungs, either way I'm burning with passion and intensely in love with you. You create such invigorating emotions within me that make my heart race and leave me light headed. And they are exclusive to your exceptional presence. You don't have to say or do a single thing and you fill me with such euphoria, with only a single glance. Your smile lights my life up with such vibrant color, everything else is oblivious to me.. Lovely human, you are truly one of a kind and I just want you to know how special you are to me. No one could ever love you like I do.. I hope that someday you will be able to love yourself and although it won't be the same appreciation or love I provided you with at least know that you are eternally loved and feel important.. Because you are. And if I can say that even after you've hurt me, then you know I sincerely mean it. And if I can love you when you don't love yourself, then that's even more reason for you to regret leaving me. But you may never regret and realize, you may never even love yourself.. And every time I fathom that thought it hurts me to such a degree that I feel a hollow pain inside of me, in my chest and in my throat every time I swallow. It's such a meaningful love that it's absence is excruciating. It's so raw and real, it scares me.. I wish you didn't make me feel the way I do.. Because now that you're gone, I have to live with this pain.. The universe works in mysterious ways and people gravitate towards each other.. Forces work together to bring people together, almost like magnets and it creates connections that when you try and separate them they still find their way back together. Try and separate two magnets and you still feel that strong force trying to reconnect them. What's meant to be will come together. The universe is surprisingly coordinated, from it's orbit to the months in a year to the life cycle of living organisms. It's these little things that we stop to realize that leave you in awe. And the love we shared will always amaze me and I will always grieve for it. Like flowers grieve for water when it hasn't rained in months... Like the earth grieves for what it's being stripped of... I can't replenish that love I have lost, nothing can replace it, but I can try and love for myself and on my own. I will continue to be as passionate and loving as I am about other aspects of my life. And every time I am reminded of you, I will acknowledge, grieve, and continue to carry on. Because sometimes there's nothing left to do, even when your heart is still speaking so loudly. You have to endure the pain and push forward with all your force; no matter how strong the connection was, no matter how hard the magnet continues to push in the opposite direction... And if you're meant to come back together, the universe will guide you back into each others arms, just like the constellations in the night sky can guide a lost traveler back home...